OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
