is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
