You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
