On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
