mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
