How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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