this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
