...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We're too hungover to prance.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
