You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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