yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
