2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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