Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
