peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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