never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
