Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
