Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
nutella sex= disaster
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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