Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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