Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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