I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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