Duck Duck Cougar?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
