You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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