I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
