If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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