dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
