these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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