is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
