What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Someone came in the potted fern
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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