I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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