Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
