i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
