Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
