question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
