I smell stomach acid.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
