hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
two words...techno handjob
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
