didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
