I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
