But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
