Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
