I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
barbara walters just said penis...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every concussion has its silver lining
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
