And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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