Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
