i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
