my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
