Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
