I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
