My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
