I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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