i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dicks are not precious.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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