What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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