Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
