he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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