your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
