i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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