I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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