Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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