You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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