She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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