its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
50% drunk capacity currently
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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