It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
