butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
