mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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