Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
