after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize