She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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