Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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