new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
